I'm Losing at this Chess Game Called Life

Of everyone in this world im sure every person over the age of 12 has at least one ex. For myself I have about 6 ex boyfriends but only one of them is still in my heart. Out of these 6 ex boyfriends, only two of them have broken up with me and one of them was in high school when I was a junior. When you're in high school nothing is really "real" so anything that I felt back then I don't believe it. Well there was one exception from high school who I also dated my freshman year in college. But we aren't going to talk about him very much.

My freshman year was when I decided to date around. Out of the six boyfriends I dated three of them were from that year. It started with a guy that I met in my music theory class. we dated for a few weeks and then I realized I didn't really have feelings for this guy anymore and missed my old boyfriend from High school and at the time he still had feelings for me to. We decided to try out long distance. The deal was that he was gonna come visit every other weekend because I didn't have a car here. Well unfortunately he injured his knee and couldn't go anywhere for quite some time. At this time I was supportive and such but then realized that stuff like this could happen at anytime. Then I asked myself, "Can I put up with this my whole college life?" The answer was no. I couldn't deal with it anymore. So I ended things......again. Of course at times I felt like I made the wrong decision but I know that I didn't. I did this for me.


Before we broke up I met someone new who was also from my music theory class. Things weren't exactly normal between me and my other ex from that class so I sat on the other side of the room. That's how I met Rainer. At the time I was still in a relationship with my ex from high school, but things were going down hill pretty quickly and I decided to be friends with Rainer. We hung out and talked almost daily it was a lot of fun and I never felt like this around anyone else. Well one night, I decided that this break up was going to happen now or never. So I had a very long conversation with my soon to be ex and ended things. Later that night, I was typing a paper for class and feeling really super shitty for dumping Ben. Of course (being the responsible college student I am) I was on facebook while typing my paper. Rainer sent me an IM. He asked about my day and acting like such a girl I told him the truth, that is was crappy and I wasn't feeling the best. He replied, well are you busy? At this moment I thought about my options of what I could say. Yes? No? Kind of? Well I went with the "I'm busy, but I have all night to do it" excuse. He simply replied with, "Meet me out front in ten minutes."
When I read that, I had all sorts of knots of excitment and depression in my stomach, and then thought what the hell, why not? I went outside and didn't see him anywhere. He then text me and said he was in the blue car. Once I got in the car he just started driving. I asked him where he was going and he replied" I don't know, anywhere you want to go." I have never done anything like this before, but it was nice and I wasn't about to ruin it. We drove all around Springfield and even got lost a few times. There was one point where we stopped at a fork in the road and he told me to decide where to go. I said I was terrible at making decisions and that he should decide. He then pushed on the gas pedal and said that I was steering so I better make up my mind quickly. I have never had this kind of relationship/ friendship with someone so I knew this was going to be very different. To end the night he drove all the way up to the top of the parking garage. His planned failed epically and he knew it. He was trying to get a beautiful view of Springfield, but when we looked it was foggy, cold, and a little bit rainy. I laughed and told him I appreciated it nonetheless and thanked him for making my day better. He said well that was my goal, so I'm glad i acheived it.
I will never forget that night, even though it was just all out of good fun, I will have to say thats the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I wish things would've worked out between us, but I guess things happen for a reason. I just hope this was a good reason and that Karma isn't just playing stupid games with me. I'm still waiting to meet someone like him.........